The State of "Home"
Looking back at Year Two.
Click here for the January 2023 The State of Home: Year One. And if you’re a subscriber who just joined this year, don’t forget to check out my introductory essay, Welcome Home. Otherwise, there’s no particular order in which these need to be read, so go for it!
It’s been two years since I started Home is a Changeling, and while the life events that have happened this year have been a little more predictable than the ones before it, it’s still been a time of adjustment and figuring out life in Washington. It means that everything is expensive (but isn’t that happening everywhere?) but it also means that we have mountains, ocean, lakes, and active volcanoes. (Nothing to worry about, just normal stuff)!
We love living in Washington and are taking full advantage of it. I’ve made more friends over the past year than in a long time, we got to explore central Washington this past summer, we’ve got plans to visit eastern Washington and perhaps the Olympic Peninsula this year, and we’ve sampled as many childrens’ museums and bagel shops along the I-5 corridor as we’ve had time for.
There’s still a lot to do and learn, and it doesn’t quite feel like “home”, but we’re very happy to live here. And (barring any volcanic eruptions or any more life-altering decisions made during a global pandemic), we’ll be here for awhile.
Celebrations!
First, the exciting stuff! Over the summer, I crossed the triple-digit mark for subscribers, woo hoo! While there are plenty of you who read this as I post it on Facebook or Instagram every month (thank you to those folks as well!), I sincerely appreciate those of you who read it directly from your inbox. Thank you!
Also, a big thank you to my paying subscribers. You not only make this work a little lighter (it’s mostly fun, but it takes time!), you help me feel like I’m reaching other goals, too. “Success”, as I define it, is still a little nebulous, but having people donate some money in exchange for my words—a poem for a $1!—makes me feel a little more like a legitimate writer. It’s incredibly motivating.
And finally, a HUGE thank you to my Founding subscribers! I didn’t expect anyone to support me on that level and it’s humbling and beautiful to have your love and support. As I get older, I am in awe of long-term friendships that morph and grow over time, and these are no exception. I am so lucky. Thank you!
I’ve also added a new way to support me on a one-time, easily accessible level: Buy Me a Coffee. Please know I appreciate any level of support I’m given.
More below on how to become a subscriber, paid subscriber, or Founding subscriber!
What I’ve Learned: Podcasts, Voiceovers, and Essays
Podcasts and Voiceovers
Time to go big! I’ll be increasing the number of interviews in the rotation; at this rate, it’s going to take a decade to get through all the people I want to talk to!
Speaking of the interviews, we started dipping our toes in some heavier topics this year vs. the first go-round. It’s my aim to keep the conversation open to whatever my guest feels like sharing; I appreciate those of you who have been willing to talk about the times when home wasn’t a safe, comfortable place, or parts of your life that were/are hard. You help us all by being vulnerable and open, and it’s a privilege to be a part of it.
I like having the voiceovers as an option but the software on Substack is a big pain; I’m going to keep doing them for all three of you who listen to them (ha) but try to explore some other avenues for improving the experience (for me and for you).
Essays
I am super proud of the Weezer series I wrote this year (more on that in a moment), but I also wrote a few new essays that were not related to a certain band, and those were some of my favorites. Sweetness looked at the seven desserts throughout my life that feel like home, and Thanksgiving in New York is about establishing new traditions as an adult (and much more). Check those out (and listen to that voiceover) if you haven’t yet!
I know that longform, series-style pieces are a big ask in our day and age; we can barely read all the text on a graphic on Instagram before scrolling to the next image. So…that’s why I’m going to keep writing longer pieces! I really love going deep into one particular subject and exploring the layers beneath. I have some great topics coming so stay tuned!
About that band…
A lot of insight about our present can be found by digging deep into what made us who we are, no matter how long ago it was. For me, exploring the depths of my fandom for the band Weezer was a great exercise in how memory shapes us and how we shape the stories of our memory. I lived and breathed this band for so long, to come back to them after many years away felt like coming home.
As anyone who has undertaken a major writing project knows, telling the story you want to tell (and making it look good) is a big commitment. I wrote 30,000 words over the course of many months for my 5-part Weezer series; it’s the most involved writing project I’ve undertaken, and I’m really proud of that.
The story about my experience as a major fan of an alternative band born in the 1990s wasn’t for everyone, but for those who did dive in, it was incredible to connect with people who felt the same way about Weezer, who had their own stories about their favorite bands, or who reached out to me to talk about how music shaped their identity. These conversations are why I love sharing this work. Keep them coming!
I also learned that the promotion of this series was really time-consuming and involved. I learned what worked and what didn’t, what was more likely to elicit a response or provoke a conversation on social media (thank you, Angela and Jordan!) and what was more likely to fall flat. Any writer in 2024 can tell you that this kind of unpaid promotion is par for the course for making sure your work gets noticed (and don’t even get me started on TikTok). It took a ton of careful planning and a lot more time than I expected, but I garnered some new readers, had some great conversations, and a stronger sense of community from that experience.
One great reward from all that hard work was getting to be a guest on the podcast High School Never Ends: A Pop Punk Dad Podcast. I started listening in 2022 and really connected with the bands and albums the hosts (two dads close to my age) talk about every week, and when the opportunity to be a guest on their “Weez-Tember” series came up, I was invited to talk about The Blue Album with the guys. You can listen on Spotify here or Apple podcasts here (and check out their other episodes, too)!
Finally, the Weezer concert at the end of the summer was a totally unexpected, absolutely perfect close to my Weezer summer. As I wrote early on, when I started writing about my experience with the band, I had no idea that I would be seeing them at the end of the summer for the first time in 13 years, but it made the work all the more special.
And it’s not too late to read or listen to it; you can start with the first essay, Blue/Pink: Part One but don’t miss my personal favorite, Rock =W= Music.
Challenges/Barriers
The same challenges from last year exist this year, with time being a limiting factor. I’m working on…ahem…being more concise. Some topics (as just mentioned) bear longer exploration, and I’m gonna write as much as I feel like I need to say about those things!
It’s been helpful to revisit and update older essays (like Waterfront Video and Fall on Me) when I’ve been swamped with other things (work, life, Weezer). I started my previous blog in 2015, and it turns out that I was writing a lot about home then, too. So when there’s a time crunch, I have a handful of pieces that I’ll be updating and sharing intermittently.
As I mentioned in last year’s “State of Home”, a word of advice for anyone embarking on an ambitious writing project: you don’t have to announce a project as soon as you get a spark of an idea. Take some time to think it out, make a plan, and really consider your goals before you get started. It’s helped me immensely and taken a lot of pressure off (internal pressure, mostly).
Be ready to adjust. After my summer series, I found that I just did not have the capacity to write about some more emotionally intense or time-consuming topics. They’re still on deck, but I’m spacing them out for my own balance.
Looking forward in 2024
As I mentioned at the beginning of this project, I started with four years of topics to cover, and though we’re halfway through, I’ve added more. We’ll see how far this goes, so thanks for joining me!
Some of the essays I’ll explore in 2024:
An unlikely portal between a theater in Arizona and my high school drama room in South Carolina (I started writing this one this past fall; it’s more involved than I initially thought)
Snapshots of my years at summer camp(s) in North Carolina
One of the best—and most unique—jobs I’ve ever had
And more interviews!
If I have time, I’ll add voiceovers to the earlier essays for those who listen to them on their podcast app. I’ll let you know when those are available!
Inspirations/Shoutouts
I follow a few other writers here on Substack who cover a variety of interesting topics. Last year I recommended Jan Peppler’s Finding Home, and I still do! Her gentle-but-not-always-pretty reflections on the changing nature of home always hit home (pun intended) with me.
I also want to recommend an even bigger newsletter, Anne Helen Peterson’s Culture Study. This is her main job, and she spends a ton of time on a wide array of topics relevant to people my age…adult friendships, work life, and the strangeness—and appeal—of TikTok for those of us who know better. She also lives on an island close to where I am, so I can relate to the life she often describes, that uniqueness of living in a small community that sometimes does and sometimes doesn’t appreciate the stunning scenery they’re surrounded by.
She writes A LOT, and I can’t keep up with it all. It’s fast and furious and sometimes a bit overwhelming. But I find myself wanting to engage with almost every topic she explores, and I think many of you will, too. Please check her out and subscribe!
A note about subscribing, plus a quick option to support my writing monetarily
We know that everything has gotten more expensive these days. If you value what I have to say, please consider a paid subscription. I appreciate all my subscribers but those who have donated give me that additional boost of motivation and the knowledge that I’m connecting with you on a deeper level than a casual reader. It’s deeply gratifying.
And if you decide to become a Founding Subscriber (woo hoo!), you get your own podcast interview! It’s your choice as to whether you want me to publish it here or just keep it for yourself, but we chat for 45 minutes about life and home and whatever else you want to share. I haven’t met anyone yet who doesn’t have an interesting story.
Here’s an easy way to see the different types of subscriptions:
And don’t forget that Buy Me a Coffee is a new way to support me on a one-time, easily accessible level.
What else I’m working on
I’m plugging away at some other, larger projects. It’s a slow process and I’m keeping the details close. Stay tuned!
And finally, thanks for reading!
Thanks for spending some time with my quirky thoughts and reflections. I really do appreciate knowing that so many of you are reading this series on a regular basis and listening to the interviews. I do it because I love it, but knowing that others do, too, brings me great joy.
If you think someone else would enjoy this work, please share! And if you haven’t subscribed yet, there’s an easy way to do that, too.
And…Happy New Year!
Image: our backyard, October 2023.
I love that the Weezer logo looks similar to Wonder Woman! :)
Glad you're still loving WA, even if it doesn't fully feel like home. (yet)